Tips for Parents During Divorce
Divorce brings about a lot of changes for children. While children are known for their resiliency, they still grieve the loss of the family they had or the loss of the presence of a parent. No matter what the circumstance, there will be an adjustment for everyone.
We believe one of the most important tips to follow in terms of parenting through divorce is: Do not talk about your divorce case with your children. Children do not need updates on the details of their parent’s divorce case, they do not need to experience a conflict of loyalty to their parents, nor should they feel uncertain of their future. Your children’s daily routines should be kept as normal as possible.
However, children are highly intelligent and may have questions. Divorcing parents can help their children by:
invite conversation. Be approachable to your children. Embrace the opportunity to be with your kids, let them know that you encourage an open dialogue, and be empathetic when listening. While you shouldn’t provide details on your divorce case, you can do your best to be reassuring and reinforce your love for your children.
legitimize their feelings. Putting your children first in every decision you make is vital, and this includes validating their feelings, listening, and security. Every decision that you make will have a direct impact on your child, from living arrangements to schedules, and so on. That is why it is vitally important to make decisions that serve their best interests, not your own.
offer support. It is more important now than ever that your children feel loved and secure. Minimize unnecessary change or instability, respect and honor your children’s feelings throughout the divorce process. Understand that your children may act out, and have dysregulated feelings - be ready to recognize the behavior so that you can provide support. Most importantly, remember that your children are human, they are beginning to learn to navigate the world and their emotions, give them grace.
take care of yourself. Recognize that you are human too. Accept that you may fall apart and also have dysregulated feelings. Also give yourself grace. Divorce can be a good time to reset areas of your life that weren’t working. Practice self-care, surround yourself with positive support from other adults, and start visualizing your plan for your new, restructured life after divorce.
model integrity and resilience. Be mindful that your children are watching your every action and reaction. Show them that no matter what happens in life, it’s always possible to overcome and that sometimes, big changes that may feel negative, can lead to something wonderful and positive. Don’t speak poorly about your child’s parent in front of them and don’t fight with them in front of your children.
At Langley Law, we are here to support you and your family to the best of our ability. If you have questions about our services, please contact us today.
